WTF!

Yes, I've said it many times in the last two weeks and really there is no better way to describe our reality lately.

Because I am exhausted, don't sleep much anymore and generally miserable at times this post may be very debbie downer.

We broke our hospital free streak Thanksgiving night, we at least got to eat dinner before whisking Cameron off to our "summer home" (aka Children's). It all started out of nowhere when Cameron began throwing up and within an hour he had thrown up 10 times! Calls were made to our pediatrician who sent us to get him imaged given Neurosurgery orders. A constant reminder of life with Hydrocephalus and its struggles

The nasty green bowl was unearthed from the depths of a closet, Cameron's face so pale it didn't take long for us to remember the days of summer when this was a weekly occurrence. Here it was a Holiday and I had stopped his meds about two weeks ago, all the stars were aligning in all the wrong ways.

We quickly packed up the car, I naively had high hopes for an a quick MRI and a return trip home. Yes, despite our history I still have hope.

In the time I pulled out of the driveway to getting on the highway (1 mile) Cameron had thrown up 4 more times.

Naturally MRI was not an option, being a holiday and all, so CT Scan was ordered (which means more exposure to radiation and not being able to compare images in the same modality). Long story short there were no signs of shunt malfunction on imaging and his ventricles were stable in size.

I jumped on the CVS Train I had so happily departed in October, after being a month free of episodes. The doctors cautioned me to not make the leap, there was still much more to rule out.

Easy for everyone else to say. I took him off his meds two weeks prior to a holiday - who does that? I was so sure we were out of the CVS spell, I caused this whole mess. I felt terrible.

After getting bloodwork, IV , and Zofran Cameron seemed a little better, but we would not be avoiding admission as I had hoped, we needed to rule out other issues.

Thursday night into Friday was a nightmare - Cameron had a catheter to check for a UTI or Kidney infection, a Shunt Tap (where they stick the lovely needed in his head) and then he spiked a fever and threw up over all of us. Around 2am the Resident shared his White Blood Cell count was high at 20,000. So we knew there was some sort of infection but we had to find the source, he was convinced the urine would come back positive. It did not. The initial gram stain on the CSF (shunt tap) was negative – all good things, but sometimes you’d really like to find the source so that we can get Cameron medicine and back on track. But I’ve learned nothing is ever text book or easy with Cameron.

Ultimately we never found the source. We were inpatient Thursday - Saturday and never found the cause. The following Tuesday all final cultures were in and nothing had grown in the CSF. Relief.

The only good to come out of the fever and high WBC; we all feel confident this was not a CVS episode. Relief again.

In the midst of this mayhem comes the WTF. In broad daylight on Friday our house was robbed. Maybe you are saying “WTF” out loud right now too? TVs, Computer, Cameras, all the jewelry my mother has given me over the years GONE.

(Back story)…
Friday around 4pm we were moved to isolation (given concern of infection) Matt received a call from the neighbor checking on Miller. I didn’t need to be on the phone to know within seconds there was a problem, and when my fears were confirmed I went screaming and crying down the halls of 3 West falling into the arms of the charge nurse, thank you Erin for holding me.

Really how much can one family take?

2010, I despise you and all you brought us. There will be no Christmas cards this year, there are no photos – all gone with my computer (as is all of Cameron’s history, medical logs, insurance logs etc.)

Really, I’m going to be a complete scrooge and say 2010 was not a blessed year for us. We’ve been let down, beat down and are now run down to the very core.

I have no energy left to do anything more beyond making Christmas special for our two little boys.

To those who surrounded our family with love and support thank you, we would not have made it without you. The meals, the cards, the coffees, the love to make us not feel alone, we are blessed by some pretty amazing people. You know who you are, and together we will make 2011 worth celebrating.