Scar Tissue

I recently came across some old CDs with photos from 2005 – 2006, I was delighted to find them, given our family photo history disappeared with my computer during the robbery.

As I began to upload them to the new computer I found tears welling up in my eyes, I have to be honest it caught my by surprise. Paging through the photos of Cameron’s beginning looking back I honestly can’t believe we made it through that first year, especially the first 4 months.

When you are in the moment you have no time to reflect, or process the reality of your situation. Which is for the best, or you likely wouldn’t make it through times of crisis.

As parents to a medically fragile/special needs child people will often comment to us “I don’t know how you do it?” It’s not really a question, despite the punctuation indicating as such, because in my opinion there is no real answer to this question.

Seeing these photos again reminded me of many things, but what was most surprising was I felt like saying to myself “how did you do that?” We’ve survived some of the toughest challenges a parent could ever face. Not without some scars of course.

As time goes by those scars of the past start to heal up as they are surrounded by the joys, the success and the promise of a future you weren’t certain existed. New challenges arise as you continue down this path, whether it be the things that keep us awake at night, the fears about the future or even the really crummy stuff when the intense medical problems rear their ugly heads.

And the scar tissue becomes irritated, sometimes too much and it really, really hurts.

The new wounds are sometimes raw and you’re not sure you’ll survive, but you do, and eventually they too will turn into scars. We must remember this when we are not certain we can make it another day.

This all came full circle for me as I changed Cameron’s clothes the other day, he has several scars, some more prominent than others but all are hidden, be it under his thick locks of hair or his favorite t-shirt. There is one you can barely see anymore, on his belly, the rest are either “fresh” or clearly visible to the naked eye.
Being reminded of the beginning of our journey in photos and then seeing the healed, almost non-existent scar on his belly, it made me smile. It was a sign of how far Cameron has come, and how far we have come. With time I believe all those scars will fade away, but the scar tissue will remain, as a way to protect us all and remind us that we have indeed survived.

This Photo was take in August 2006 within days of his 2nd brain surgery

This photo says it all....

Cameron CAN!

Happy New Year!
We survived the Holidays and salvaged a very nice Christmas after the turmoil that was our Thanksgiving. The boys were in full Christmas spirit, and pretty much bouncing off the walls for the entire week leading up to the big day.

A great Christmas day celebration was had and all wishes were granted, outside of the pink motorcycle that Connor really wanted. He came down and said "Where's my pink motorcycle?" his first lesson in you can't always get what you want. You'll see from the photos this was quickly forgotten once he opened one of several trains.

I'd have to say the best Christmas present of all, outside of not being in the hospital, was the unveiling of the Cameron Can Foundation (see link on the left sidebar) Be sure to check it out, just click on the logos.

We are so grateful to our friends who have worked tirelessly to start this foundation, and plan the inaugural event in March!

Going into January, when all of our deductibles, copays, coinsurance and insurance woes go back to ZERO is one of my least favorite times of year. Everyone else looks at a New Year with such promise, we worry about how all the medical costs headed our way.

But knowing how many people want to help Cameron, and us, well....The weight of the world has been lifted off our shoulders to know that Cameron's future is in good hands.

I personally have always wanted to create a foundation to honor Cameron and how hard he has fought, and will continue to fight the rest of his life. There are many families out there like us who never qualify for financial assistance, charity care and so forth despite life long medical issues. I have tried in vain for the last four years, so I look forward to the day when we can offer grants to other families just like us with the Cameron Can Foundation. Others can realize the reality to keep their hope alive that they too can be certain their child will not be denied therapies, specialists and treatments when the costs become too much to bear.

After our 2010 many people have repeated to me, "2011 is going to be a better year" I have to admit I was skeptical. But over New Year's weekend there was a small glimmer of hope. Everyone in our house got the dreaded stomach flu, except Cameron!

Cameron was a great doctor with the best bedside manner. He made sure all family members had the dreaded "green bowl" when they needed it and was saying the sweetest things to make us feel better. Connor is still convinced there was a dog, a cat, a fly and a spider in his tummy. All courtesy of our recent book choice: "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly".

So for Cameron to be the "missed" this bug, well that's got to be a good sign! Right ?!?! Oh and I found this perfect shirt for him...Happy New Year to all!